Shoulda been me
by Cal-Wills
Summary: Oldie. So Adam is marrying his best friend, Randy Orton, All dandy right? Yeah if John wasn't head over heels for Adam. Randy/Adam/John; SLASH. Rated M.


Warnings: M/M Relationships, mentions of Sex, Suicide/Character Death; Heavy angst.  
Note: I'm not Bashing Randy Orton.

Once again One - Shots help!

**It should have been me**

I'm a screw up! That's all I'll ever be. I lost my dream job, my dream man. Just to make it clear, he was never mine to begin with, never looked at me as more then a friend. He had _Him._ He never treated him with the respect he deserved. He didn't treat him as _I _would. I'd treat him like a god. Like a Prince.

When I first saw him I _knew _he was special. I never believed in Love until I saw him. Oh, how I **hate **that word _Love. _To me it's another meaning for words like _pain _and_ heart break, _because that's all I've ever gotten out of it. Some say I just haven't found the right one. Whatever the case, I _knew _he _was _the right one.

I first met him on Smackdown. **Ohio Valley Wrestling. **I'd been down in OVW;I'd just gotten a development contract from WWE, and apparently, I was to debut on Smackdown and he just got drafted.

**Adam Copeland. **The name it's self, sounded like perfection. I'd learned a great deal about him, from talking with him before and after shows. I'd learned he was born and raised in Toronto his whole life. I'd also learned he was dating my best friend.

**Randy Orton. ** A great friend he was. But he was a total asshole. Just because he won the World Heavy Weight Championship. Whoopee Fuckin' Hoo. Good for him. I teamed with the guy for three years, before we where called up to WWE. Once there we won the WWE titles, Randy the Intercontinental Title, Me the United States Title; but what I wanted most was out of reach.

While Randy went out and partied the night away, I got a chance to be alone with Adam; this was the opportune moment I'd longed for. To finally tell him of my feelings toward him.

**X Flash Back X**

"_. . . Congrats on your title win" Adam smiled as he Wrapped his arms around me. I smiled at him shyly. _

"_Thanks Ad, this means a lot to me" I mumbled letting my arms slid around him briefly, before he pulled away. _

"_I'm really happy for you, you deserve this" he grinned as he turned to leave. _

"_Adam?" I murmured gathering the strength as he turned around smiling._

"_Yes?" he asked staring at me._

"_Never mind, it's nothing" I mumbled mentally kicking myself for being such a coward. _

"_Oh okay then" he murmured walking out._

**X End Flash back X**

If I would have told him then and there, I probably wouldn't be so miserable.

When Randy asked Adam to marry him and he said yes, all I could think was . . . it should have been me. When Adam asked me to be present at the wedding, how could I say no, even though my heart was breaking?

Piece by painful piece. Slowly but surely.

**X Flash back X**

_When I saw Adam walking down that isle in his black suit, it took my breath away. I imagined it was me he was marrying._ _**Not Randy Orton**__. But if wishes were fishes the entire world would be an ocean, isn't that how the saying goes? Oh well._

"_Is there anyone who wishes these two, not to be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace" The priest spoke loudly through the microphone. How hard it was to stay sitting and not jump out of his seat and make a scene. Finally tell him of his deep hidden feelings. Instead in his seat he stayed, while they said they're voles to each other. Before the kiss though, he was out the door and in his car driving away. _

_Away from him, away from their wedding. _

_All he could think then was, __**it should have been me**__._

**X End Flash back X**

Soon then after Randy was caught in bed with John Morrison. Adam was found locked up in his bathroom wrists slit, clutching a single piece of paper, to him.

**X Flash back X**

"_This is for you" The doctor spoke handing him the bloody paper._

_It read:_

_**I caught Randy Cheating and that's probably why you think I committed suicide, don't you? Well you're wrong. I committed Suicide because I wanted the forbidden . . . I wanted you. I love you and hopeful I'll see you again . . . someday**_

_I was shocked. He wanted me. Adam wanted me. Me._

**X End Flash back X**

His coward ness and stupidity had landed him where he was now. Standing in the rain, in the cemetery watching as they slowly lower his casket into the ground. Just as it descended lower, he dropped a single red rose on top of it.

"I love you too, Adam Copeland" he whispered softly as tears cascaded down his face, mixing with the rain.

So now as John Cena walked out of the cemetery all he could think was, **it should have been me. **

~ fin


End file.
